One of the first things children learn is how to communicate what they need to their caregivers. If you’ve ever been around them, you’d know that they find the smartest, most efficient ways to get their point across (often, too smartly!). We tend to underestimate these natural instincts of developing interpersonal skills, and through Neuro Linguistic Programming, we can learn these skills again.
NLP is a methodology that can help people develop fundamental interpersonal skills, identify problem areas that we can work on, and understand how the mind works better. A deeper understanding of the way the human mind works, helps in putting people and events into perspective, thus making our relationships better.
Using the learnings from NLP practices, here are 7 useful interpersonal skills that you’d want to develop:
1. Be a Listener
We often tend to forget that communication is a two way process. It is as much about giving information as it is about receiving it. The best leaders, actually the best people to be around, are those who listen. When you listen to someone, you open your mind to their thoughts and ideas, and accept information coming from them.
Relationships are based on the foundation of trust, acceptance and exchange of ideas. For any relationship, it is important to be able to receive ideas from someone else, process it in our own way, and these thoughts are the material that help us grow and learn. Keeping our minds open gives us the opportunity to really accept new ideas, and get exposed to things we are otherwise not familiar with. This helps us in turn to be empathetic and compassionate towards people, and really form everlasting bonds.
3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Using NLP techniques, one can learn how to perceive situations and events from different points of view. We don’t even realise how much our perception of certain situations can affect the way we feel about them. Through NLP, we can go back to the events in our life, change the way we perceive the situation, and allocate different feelings towards them. In simpler terms, looking at things from other people’s points of view is a crucial skill to hone interpersonal relationships.
You remember how sometimes, there is a slow driver right in front of you and you can’t go anywhere, so just shrug, and patiently follow. Well, relationships with people can be like that sometimes. You just have to be patient, hear the other people out, and wait for things to be alright. Patience is a quality that really needs to be worked on, and when you’ve mastered it, it really is an asset when it comes to dealing with people.
5. Make Eye Contact
It’s safe to say that body language is crucial when it comes to communicating anything. Making eye contact is the first step to letting the other person know that you are attentive, you care about what they are saying and you are open to receiving information from them. Open, relaxed body language helps people trust you and makes them feel at ease. While other subconscious non-verbal signals can be identified using NLP, eye contact is something that is easy to follow for anyone. So keep this in mind the next time you’re listening to someone!
6. Diplomacy Doesn’t Hurt
Honest is the best policy, yes. But a little bit of smart communication never hurt anyone. After all, even world peace is dependant upon diplomatic relationships! In any relationship, it is imperative to be open and honest with each other, but it is also important that this is communicated in the most efficient way. Choosing the correct words, timing and way of putting something across can do a world of a difference. So, be truthful, but always remember to be smart about it!
7. Be Yourself
One of the biggest mistakes people make while maintaining relationships, and what is often the deal breaker, is when they start being fake. When people are not true to their own selves, their feelings and what they want from that particular relationship, is when the problems really start. When you’re being yourself, and ready to accept that, you put out positive, confident vibes. This unadulterated, truest version of yourself is going to be appreciated by anyone willing to have an honest relationship. So, just breathe, and be you.
We hope these tips have been useful!